It is 7.30 p.m. on a relaxing Saturday as I am writing this, where it's about 8 degrees out and cosy and warm inside. It has been about 2 months since I took a full night and day of flying from Singapore to this small town in the south coast of Norway, called Aalesund, and where I have called home for the past 8 weeks.

Aalesund is a gorgeous seaside city comprised of many islands on Norway's cold, windy coast which are connected by some amazing underground highway tunnels. It is a bit of a miracle landscape with a collection of rolling hills and mountains emerging straight out of the frigid arctic sea-- so we have the double blessings of a mountain AND sea view here.

The city of Aalesund

Aalesund city has a small local population of less than 70K people and the only foreigners who come here are usually just tourists from cruise ships that dock here for a day as their port of call during the summer. To say I knew anything about the place before I even knew it existed a few months ago would be lying. Man, I didn't even know Norway had islands!!

Postcard-worthy: Aalesund city center

OK, but why though?

So, to explain how I ended up here, we'd have to backtrack roughly 8 months ago: where I quit my dream job straight out of college: producing at a national news agency. I had been there for about 3.5 years and to say that I learnt many invaluable lessons there is quite an understatement. Producing at CNA had challenged me as a creative and really grown me as a person in more ways than one.

And that was quite tied to much of what I was just reading a while ago in this NYT article – on "how to disentangle your identity from work" . After spending my early twenties in a fast-paced job largely through the pandemic—covering COVID-19, Singapore’s 2020 Elections and producing more than 15 documentary programmes— I had found that in quite a lot of ways, life had begun to revolve around work. The work was demanding, tiring and yet still exciting and rewarding. But I felt that it was starting to become too much my identity.

And this is a big part of being in media/the creative industries; we view our work as a proxy to how we view ourselves, and one then wonders- is this healthy? The value of our work becomes intrinsically how we value ourselves. While it is easier to get to know someone through what they do, it seems to be the very first label we put on ourselves and others. Friends who have, in the recent turbulent times, been let go of or also left their jobs, have told me- “I don’t know how to introduce myself now that I’m no longer a ______.” Now a days, I try to stop asking people what they do and more- what they like to do, on their free time.

In the following 6 months after leaving my full-time job, I started freelancing as a media specialist, video producer and art director. The new pace and work have allowed me to explore new media formats, job scopes and myself. I started painting again and learnt I can now appreciate and paint abstract art! Trying to be a human be-ing and not just a human doing.

Then 2 months ago, I left home and moved to Norway, to help one branch of an international Christian non-profit organization with video and social media work. It is a change that I know I am privileged to be able to take up— drinking chilled Nordic tap water (best I've ever tasted FR) and eating dinners at 4.30 p.m. (they’re crazy!) While I’m learning that my work will always be a bit of my identity as a creative person, I now know I can be in charge of my elusive ‘work-life balance’ and how much I let it define me.

Mandatory tourist shot to prove I'm in Norway

THE WHY... and why nots.

It's been a while but since early 2021, I've felt a growing sense of a kind of calling towards something. People call it different things-- the universe, destiny, vibes, qi... etc., but to me, without doubt, it's God. I felt like it was a sort of spiritual flipping of a page- and an image starting to form on the new slate, but one that was vague and ever-shifting. I could not really grasp what it was but it came in the form of a building quarter-life crisis leading to 2 things:

1. That I could actually see myself just staying in that job for the next 5 years, toughing it out, climbing the corporate ladder, making money and getting some measure of success. But I immediately knew that I would be at once in my thirties, looking back and absolutely REGRETTING not doing more in my twenties. And so, the creeping horror of: I need to do SOMETHING, and I need to do it NOW.

2. The need to do something meaningful. It started as an itching feeling to do more as a Christian creative. Being a Christian is a big part of my identify- supposedly the biggest- but for the longest time it was taking a backseat in my life. And when I saw the (of late extremely bad) news/state of the world, and talked to friends about their problems, I was just constantly reminded that, wow- this world needs God. And I wanted to do something to help that-- even in a little way.

There are so many misconceptions about God out there and it is seeping into every corner of humanity- society, policy, relationships, personal growth and understanding. And, I honestly think that is what is causing a lot of problems in the world- even in churches and religious organizations. But there is truth and there are things that can be said about it. Slowly but surely I am feeling convicted to put whatever skills I have to use, to do that in some way.

Was there something you always wanted to do but never did? Why?

So why haven't I done it? After God put said thoughts & ideas in my mind, there was an immediate recoil instead, because of (what I now know is) the fear of failure and feelings of inadequacy. It has been 2 years and those plans had barely grown from its seed for lack of proper nurturing. It is a big thing to be thinking of "speaking truths" right now because how absolutely obnoxious of me to think that I could do it? In this post-truth world? Yeah right. And also, that I was the one who's supposed to do that? Siao sis.

What if it failed? What if I hated whatever I did? So, I let the mundane everyday take over, the more 'urgent' things, the want to just relax, the growing list of things undone on which this was just one point of. Then I decided to quit my job and time freed up, but then I continued running away; there were a million other things to do and worry about: now planning a family vacation, then taking up freelance work and THEN looking for my full-time job and starting to plan a wedding ETC. It is almost a self-fulfilling prophesy because the fear of failure leads to inertia starting, which really, causes it to fail because nothing can ever, even begin.

And that's why I decided it was time for a PAUSE. A physical jam in the machine by uprooting myself to a whole new environment because God knows otherwise I would never have the mental space to reflect and think. A few weekends ago, I visited a church and there I met a Japanese lady from Brazil who was sort of chairing the service. She got my name at the start but nothing much else as we didn't get time to chat. Towards the end of the meeting, she went up with a word for me, and it was painfully accurate. She quoted-

Exodus 3:10-14:

10 "So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."

11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

12 And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”

13 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

15 God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’

WHO AM I, THAT I SHOULD GO?

This was basically God saying to me, why do you care who you are and whether you're up for the job? Care about who I AM, the one who's sending you. I said go do this, so go do it.

And that IS the answer, because God has all the credentials, power and authority I would ever need, and the result of everything is up to Him.

A foggy day on the island of Alnes

THE NOW and THE NEW

Back to the present, where sitting in this local café drinking an overpriced mocha while listening to a Nordic lo-fi playlist has made me awfully self-aware upon reflecting and writing. The 2 months have been refreshing, and I have seen and experienced a different way of life than back in the bustle of busy Singapore. Here, it feels like people HAVE time. Work-life-balance is amazing. Jobs end at 4.30pm and the sun doesn't set for the next 5-6 HOURS! But it's not just about that, it's about having an unlimited mindset.

The lives of the people I've met so far seem richer somehow, they're excited about their projects, they're talking about people they've met, things they're learning, and reflecting about their emotions and constructing future plans, appreciating nature. For some reason they seem a little happier than the many people I've known and met back home. Maybe it's because they are so in touch with the arts; it's normal to hear people talking about ongoing artistic projects, books that they're working on, poems, music etc. There is just so much emphasis on developing things other than work, money, making ends meet, success or even the next holiday/restaurant/fancy purchase.

I've learnt so much from just talking and interacting with the people here, and found quite a few good role models & inspirations. The soil of my mind is ripening for it and I'm replanting the seed that I believe God gave me. It will take some care to grow it properly, but this period of unlearning & re-learning has given me a good dose of fertilizer to start out. So here is a list of things I've learnt that I think would be helpful to come back to once in awhile-

In no particular order:

1. We are created for LIFE, not just for SURVIVAL, and life is about seasons: Work when it's time, rest when it's time. The root word for Busyness, is Anxiety!

2. Every season has it's purpose: Spring (New beginnings), Summer (Result & Fruits), Autumn (Repentance & Pruning), Winter (Waiting, Recovery & Restoration). Consider what season of life you are in now.

3. Your gifts are your power: it's the thing that makes you feel unexplainably energized. It's not so much about the thing you're passionate about, but about the exponential effectiveness it has on people.

4. Finding out your Gifts: Strengths and weaknesses- Always reflect & be challenged- be bold to invite people in to give you feedback. OFFENCE is the enemy of growth.

5. There is power in vulnerability, and you can be vulnerable when you are LOVED.

6. Reconciled past = Emotional stability

7. The ability to lead is tied to self-awareness: We cannot bring people places we've not been before.

8. Have open hands: Makes it easy to give and receive.

9. The GREAT is the enemy of the GOOD, but good is better than nothing at all! Sometimes you just have to get started, and then you can grow from good to greater.

10. Perspective, Mindset and Attitude changes everything.

About perspective: slowing down and taking time to appreciate every moment here

If you have read to the end - Thank You. I hope this (stream of consciousness/proverbial verbal vomit/diary dump) has allowed you to reflect as much as it has me.

For my Christian friends, here are some bonus lessons from God: Lessons for and from Faith --

- Where is God getting your attention and what are you doing about it?

- There is a redemptive meta-narrative in everything, and it always points to JESUS

- El Shaddai means 'big-breasted one'; God is our comforting and nurturing bosom (LMA0)

- There are different flavours/manifestations of God: He presents himself through various ways based on the NEED of who is receiving/experiencing Him

(Isaiah and the grand vision VS Sarai and the casual lunch guests)

- True Christians delight in God's HOLINESS, something that has nothing innit for us

- Hospitality=The love of strangers. That is a key value of leadership in the Bible

- Are we truly asking God and giving the space to listen to what He has to say?

Now and the next

I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to learn this much, and to be able to take time to explore my highest Maslow's hierarchy of needs (LOL). Much self-actualization is going on and hopefully more to come in the next month. Peace!

PSALM 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

P.S: I leave you with this picture of cute sheeple grazing in a field of flowers. It is now yours. You're welcome.